April 17, 2007

So as much as I didn't want to work out tonight. I did, and I'm proud of myself. I did YBB Hip Hop Abs again. I've worked out more this month than I have months in the past, so I'm proud of myself. And I'm eating a TON better. I cant really tell the difference in my weight yet, but I'm looking better, which is what is most important. I still want to thin down a bit more before I go out west in less than 2 months, so I'm going to have to keep working even harder. So I know I say that I'm not the jealous type, but yeah, I definately think I am. So I was looking at J's myspace and he had a wall post from one of the girls from Kentucky that we met while in Europe. He wrote a post on her wall saying that he wanted to stay in touch with her, and that he would send her a message with his cell phone number so that she could give him a call. I don't know why that bothers me, but it does. Its like I want to be like 'he's mine bitch, not yours'. But I don't even have the right to do that, because he's NOT mine. He has a girlfriend, or a baby's mama in the least. So yeah, I'm slightly annoyed with myself. I need to stop thinking too into this trip, otherwise I'm gonna get my heart broken, and I don't think I'll be able to make it through him breaking my heart.

I just hope that I'm not making a big mistake going out west to see him. I very well could be, but I'm gonna cross my fingers and hope its a good thing, not a bad one.

Peace Out girlscout!